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Brexit means Brexit?


Look, everyone had the chance to vote
Well, unless they were an expat
If you don’t like it get yer coat
Brexit means Brexit and that’s that


Time to take authority
Democracy in action
Leave in the majority
Albeit a fraction


Alright, so no one had a plan
But it was clear as day to me
Time to stand up as an Englishman
Regain our Sovereignty


The only Brussels we require
Are platefuls of sprouts and taters
Vacuum cleaners at full power
And strong negotiators


I’m British through and through
Like a stick of seaside rock
Look, I’ve got my ancestral DNA test for you
Blimey, that’s a shock!


350 million on the side of a bus
“Let’s fund our NHS” was the word
Apparently it included UK subsidies paid by us
So the real figure was nearer a third!


Then we triggered Article 50
And about time, too
Things started to get a bit shifty
Stuff we never knew


No one told us there’d be a bill!
They kept that quiet as mice
Still, £40 billion for an EU divorce?
Cheap at half the price!


No thanks to Gove and Nigel and Boris
The EU hold the winning hand
But at least we’ll still have men dancing Morris
And loads of brass bands


Like a cross between a pantomime and a Victorian farce
May’s DUP bribe turned around and bit her on the arse
Borders without friction?
Sounds like a work of fiction,
Chances of that longterm are looking pretty sparse


As the Spanish move to outflank
Gibraltar will grind to a halt
Wouldn’t place a bet on their offshore banks
Huh, yet another wall to vault


And what about immigration?
I thought they’d get that fixed
It was part of the separation
That our races wouldn’t mix


Look, us plucky Brits will pick that fruit
We won’t let it rot
We’ll even staff the wards to boot
…the wages are what?


On our bids for European Capital of Culture
There’s just been a fortune spent
Why can I hear the sound of vultures
Why’ve they retracted their consent?


Sure we’ll have to pay twice what we pay now
For anything from over the sea
But with empty shelves and little choice
Just think how
Quick the supermarket run will be


Fox has promised we won’t be stricken
He’s reasoning new trade deals of course
America will send us loads of chicken
With antibiotic seasoning and a chlorine sauce


We’ll have to buy back the footballs clubs
The transport, power and water
No longer afford those nights in the pub
No thanks to Dracula’s daughter


Think we’ll be calling the shots?
If we leave we don’t stand a chance
It’ll be America and China more like than not
With Sovereignty a fleeting glance


Opportunists sprung from Pandora’s box
While we stared at the distant past
Our only hope is to change the locks
And hope that peace will last


Are we still in our Empire’s fortress?
Does Britannia still rule the waves?
Could you just check under the mattress?
For all that money we made from slaves


I’m afraid you’re in for a shock
You’ll be forever underage
Pensions may be triple locked
But not the retirement age


The EU court’s jurisdiction gone overnight,
The Working Time Directive bites the dust
Law reforms could lose our Human Rights
Working every hour just to earn a crust


If you can get a visa to travel
Then by the time you get off the plane
With border checks, customs and grovel
It’ll be time to come home again


The NHS runs on a shoestring
Expect no help from the banks
It’ll be the Tories’ wet dream
To put it in the hands of the Yanks


We’ll turn back the clock
To our racist trends
Take to throwing rocks
Let’s not pretend


If we manage to export anything
It could take weeks to leave the country
With tariffs on everything
There’ll be munity on the bounty


So welcome all to Poundland
With nothing left to spend
As we gather round the bandstand
Alone among friends


So what do think we’ll see?
When we look back
Hammond accusing the enemy?
Gove leading the pack?
Juncker with his poker face?
Barnier and his sneers?
Davis and his disgrace?
Rees-Mogg causing our tears?


And who will we blame?
Cameron for his gamble?
Boris for political gain?
Farage for this shambles?
May for our pain?
Or our own gullibility?
With no Phoenix from the flames


Sealing an uncertain future
In the face of a National rift
Slowly unpainting the picture
As we rush to the edge of the cliff


Did we know what we were doing?
Was it the blind leading the blind?
For all that cheering and booing
Umm…could I change my mind?

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